I can't take this.

Okay tag replies first.
Lest this fucking thing gets way too vulgar.

29 Apr 09, 13:25
Ruth:: hello hello mindy! (:
lol, hello Ruth-y. :D

29 Apr 09, 16:04
Jesselyn♥: hello!
Heehee, hi big-butt. :)

29 Apr 09, 17:55
NATALIEEE: MINDAEE ! SEE I SO GOOD , GIVE UU TAGGS ! LOVEYOUS NARHS ! <3 MUACKS.
lol thanks lor. ilyt heehee. :D <3

29 Apr 09, 22:11
STELLA: oh hi . stress-ed ): still am , actually . dont follow me hor :D i going be guaikia from next NEXT week alr . jy me :D ! <3.
Well, you are from RV yeh. Jy you. :)

29 Apr 09, 22:55
mandy: hey mindy
Haha, hi MANDY. :)

Okay,
damn MYEs.
and my parents.
I mean what the fuck.
I'm already so fucking fucked up hopeless,
so why the hell should they still freaking care about my studies.
I mean I'm not like my brothers,
I fail History,
I fail Maths,
I fail Science sometimes,
I barely passed Chinese,
I fail life.
But my brothers?
Oh wow,
A1s and high marks.
Yeah,
my parents don't compare my brothers to me,
because they probably think I'm not even worth comparing.
And what the fuck.
I was watching the freaking Chinese Drama on TV,
and my dad who usually doesn't give a shit about my exams,
suddenly came and asked me to manage my time or whatever that fuck he was saying.
He told me it was like 5 days to my exams,
including the day of the exam,
which means 4 days,
and tomorrow I'll be out,
so it'll be 3 days.
Oh,
SO LESS TIME.
What does he want me to do?
Panic?
I mean what the fuck?
I'm not 7 or 8 anymore,
I'm not doing well in my studies like I used to.
And I don't really care,
and not really bothering to find out the problem,
so I don't see why should they.
They should just give up on me.
I'm just an extra thing in their life that brings misery,
pain,
whatever.
I get sick and they need to take care of me.
I get bad results and they need to scold and teach me.
I need (not really) tuition and they need to pay for it.
I need food to eat and they need to pay for it.
They're just wasting their money on me.
I'm not worth it.

Oh,
so cool,
my dad just came in,
and told me he'd study with me tomorrow.
And he told me learning about the fucking digestive system is easy.
Who is he to say that?
He's a smart person to say that.
Easy for him to say.

Yeah,
to them,
what only matters is me doing well in my studies.
They don't give a flying fuck about how I feel,
what I'm under and whatever.
I just need someone to understand me.
And nobody ever will,
I assume.

Oh,
and guess what,
I found something so cool on Shuang Hui's blog.

Please lar! I fell down and hurt myself and you didnt even show any concern and
yet scold me. Mindy was like" How old are you? Still need ppl to help you up?"

If you ever see this,
Shuang Hui,
it's true that you're not 2,
when you fall down,
you need your mother to actually pull you up.
You're 13, please.
You're not the only one who falls down.
You're not the only one who doesn't feel concerned.
You're not the only one who gets scolded.
At least you still can stand up.
I can't.